Another Visit From Dark. - His Porcelain Soldier
"And the Lord said unto satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thy hand. So satan went forth from the presence of the Lord."
 Job 1:12

It's happened many a times over the years to me in my dreams. I get this feeling of darkness come over me, and I try to shout for Jesus & my mouth will either turn to squishy jello so that I can't talk, or "Dark" (as I like to call the dark figures) just muzzles it everytime I try to shout out the name of Jesus. It's literally the feeling that someone has their hand over my mouth. In the past, it has scared me, and I've woke up in sweat, tears, and just plain feeling totally disoriented. I've always ended up being able to call on Jesus' name, but it is always a struggle before the nightmare is over. Last night's visit was a little different then all the other times though.  Dark came & tried to scare me in my dream again. I don't know what the dream was about. I only remember that I was walking, and Dark tried to scare me by using the surprise tactic. It literally jumped in my face, short of saying "BOO!" to scare me. I didn't panic this time though. I wasn't even scared, not even a little... I wasn't even startled by the "surprise" tactic. (And I knew right when it showed up that it was the same familiar, evil spirits that have taunted me in my dreams before.)

I simply stopped walking right in my tracks. I looked it straight in the "face", and I started LAUGHING. It wasn't just any laugh either. It was a deep down in my tummy ache kinda' laugh. I simply found it absolutely amusing that Dark tried to scare me. And it just stared back at me, quite taken with my response. Dark seemed confused, with a shocked & defeated look on its "face." For a change, Dark didn't know how to react to ME. For a change, Dark's sly attempt to creep up on me unexpectedly & rattle my soul was an epic fail.

When I was done laughing, I said, "I rebuke you"... and at that moment, Dark tried to muzzle my mouth again, like it had done so many times in the past. But it didn't work this time. I just pushed passed the muzzle, and yelled so loud, "I rebuke you in Jesus name!" that I literally said it out loud, and literally woke myself up mid sentence, in just enough time to hear myself yelling it out loud. I wasn't crying when I woke up. I wasn't sweating or scared, not one bit. I was in total peace, and quite smug about it, to say the least... so I closed my eyes, said a quiet thank you to Jesus, and went back to sleep, peacefully...

Last night was a defining moment in my walk with God. Nevermind the years of anguish that are behind me! Nevermind the unknown future that's ahead of me! Nevermind those spirits who have taunted me since I was a little girl, showing themselves in dreams and visions, showing themselves in this world & the people around me...something changed forever in that moment of laughter. Dark will never be able to shake me again.

Maybe I laughed at Dark because I've seen it so many times before, that it's become laughable that Dark thinks it can still scare me. Maybe I laughed because Dark looked so pitiful trying to scare me with its surprise tactic... almost as if it were cute, the way my 2 year old would be cute if he had tried to scare me in the same way.

I know though, that Dark can never scare me again. I remember as a child, "stomping" on the devil, by stomping my feet on the ground, and proclaiming that I was stomping on the devil. It was an act of innocence & "pretending" as a child. But now... now it's just real. Dark has no power over me. Maybe Dark is a cute 2 year old, next to the super strong tower I call my God... who, resides, in me.

I'm not afraid of you anymore Dark. Your evil shadows linger in this world, I know. You tear people down, you tear their worlds a part, their families, their lives... and you've even been known to assist them in their suicide. I've heard your stories from others before... I know I'm not the only one you've taunted out there. But you've been harrassing me for as far back as I can remember. I must be something special, because you've invested an awful lot of time into me.

You can't touch me. You've never been able to touch me. You can't scare me anymore... I'll laugh in your face. This world you devour can't have me. I won't dress like it. I won't talk like it. I won't think like it. I won't live like it. I won't die like it. I'm not yours to have. I never have been.

 People look at me and think that my "religion" makes me follow a bunch of rules to be a part of it. I look at people and think that this world makes them follow a bunch of rules to be a part of it. I'm not following any man's rules. I'm just the spitting image of my Father, like any child. And this world, this world that is being led around like puppets on a string as they live in darkness & their lives are torn a part & being taken away...  is the spitting image of Dark.

Dark can't have us all. Because we all have a choice. And God's mercy is greater than the shadows who linger in this world. He's coming ... he's scooping up his people, and Dark, you just can't do anything about it. There aren't enough demons in hell to overpower the power that's in me. There never will be. There never was. He's always been with me. He's been in me since I asked Him in as a little girl, and He's never left.

I'm pushing through your barriers at the speed of sound now, and Dark, you just can't stop me. You will never be able to stop me. Your attempts are laughable. You're nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You're nothing.

5/24/2013 13:57:10

This reminded of a dream I had on Feb.7, 2013. Some weird looking faces were floating around up close to my face. They were clownish looking. The closer they got, the weirder they looked to me. Then they got real close and started covering up my mouth, trying to shut me up and I couldn't breathe and started to panic because I couldn't speak or open my mouth either.

The first thought that came to me was to call out the name of Jesus. I tried but couldn't and it was all muffled but I kept trying. I was fighting a battle to breathe when finally it happened. I suddenly awoke and for real, heard myself say JESUS and it came out "raspy" because at the same time I was taking that big gasp of breath.

All I know for sure is, their mission was to "shut me up". I didn't even have to question the Lord what the dream was about. I knew.

I'd been sharing some stuff in church that the Lord had been downloading in my Spirit and He'd already let me know that some in the church would not receive it, and I had already experienced this a few times. So I knew that this was what this dream was all about....trying to keep me from speaking up what the Lord was having me to share.

First time I'd ever been visited like that in a dream. But I'm like you now. They can no longer intimidate me or shut me up!

1/29/2016 01:56:05

He has been with you since you were born. As the elders of the church anointed your tiny head with oils and the whole congregation prayed over you I entrusted you back into his arms at only 3wks old knowing with him you would always be watched over and protected all the days of your life. In a service completely and entirely devoted to dedicating you to God for such a precious gift given to me and the world by him, you were blessed by the Holy Spirit and forever promised his protection, never to be left alone. Ive not seen a lot of this writing though I have been summarized about much but you touch my heart Tara with your writing. You always have. So much in the soul that you are able to express through your writing that I feel yet struggle how to express it or even understand it. Sometimes for me its as if you are writing for us both because as you manage to put in words so much of what I feel deep in my heart and soul you help me to understand my own confusion at times. Like you take all these feelings that I feel from deep within but cant seem to express those feelings without it all coming out all mumble jumble making me feel like I appear to be abnormal or not from this world. Sometimes I feel like Im from another world and ended up here by a mix up of sorts. Like I dont belong here though I know I do. I needed to be here so you, Heather, Randy and Josh could all be here. You and I both are intellectuals but you my love understand it in a way that you can inspire the world! I love you and Im proud of you! Im proud of each one of you for who each of you are and each one of you have been given your own talents and gifts meant to bless many in your lifetimes in different ways. Tara your writing I truly believe will one be one of your legacys. Your written words will be a part of history and inspire many. Keep writing and remember the strong faith in God youve carried and openly confessed from as far back as I can remember when you were only a child. Thankyou for helping me to understand many things from the inside. xoxoxo All my love -Mom


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