Blog Archives - His Porcelain Soldier
 
God gave me these words one night after fervent prayer (when I was 27.) He had finally given me the intrepretation to a vision I had as a little girl (note; vision, not dream.) I immediately began to write down these words 'in the spirit' describing my vision and its interpretation.


The Vision
 "And the Lord said unto satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy
  power; only upon himself put not forth thy hand. So satan went forth from the
  presence of the Lord." Job 1:12

 
A field consumed with dark figures that resembled people was what I saw
  that night. Their eyes stared at me. They wanted me. They wanted me like a wolf
  wants his prey. I stared back with complete innocence and no fear. I wasn't
  afraid of them. They had no power over me. I was eight, and my innocence mocked
  them.

My eyes led me to the centerpiece of the table of evil before me. He was
  there. He was there in all his glory...his glow penetrating the atmosphere. He
  knelt as he prayed, and they stood there bound by his powerful presence alone.
  They couldn't touch me. His power was too great. I stared in awe at the
  magnificent scene before me. I stared until my eyes wouldn't stay open anymore
  and then drifted peacefully to sleep.

And as I grew they taunted me. They tried to follow me everywhere. They
  were on every corner of my life. They consumed my home and my family. They
  attacked & devoured all those I loved right before my eyes. They feasted on
  the weak all around me. But they couldn't feast on me. Oh, they couldn't feast
  on me. I was betrothed to another. He had already staked his claim, and they
  couldn't touch me.

Their hell was no match for my beloved. They tried to bring their hell to
  me but my beloved walked alongside me all the way. Where many only saw one
  innocent, helpless girl, they saw two... and they knew, they couldn't touch me.
  And when I was weak and lost he was there. And they couldn't touch me. And when
  I cried and hurt he was there. And they couldn't touch me. And when I wandered
  through the darkness, and the branches and thorns scraped my
body, he was there. And  they couldn't touch me.

  Covered by his blood and fused to his power there was nothing left to
  expect but a mighty explosion. Who are they... but the filth beneath the filth,
  beneath his feet. He does not waiver and the
mountains  bow beneath his feet. His voice guided me through the darkness and
vanquished  their filthy whispers. He led his porcelain soldier home, and they
couldn't  touch me. They couldn't touch me.
 
 
I picked up one of my 3 yr olds today and was hugging him. He said, "I'm going to fall." I said, "No, I won't let you fall."  I had an epiphany at that moment. I thought about one day when all six of my kids grow up and venture out on their own into this world. I thought, I'd never let any of you fall. But then... I realized that a day will come when I have to let them make their own choices, those choices might cause them to fall, and it would be beyond my control.  I can guide them and teach them everything I know about making it in this world. I can be there for them and protect them as much as possible. But I can't always make their choices for them. One day, I just might have to let them fall. I can only hope I've taught them that falling doesn't equal failing and to just get right back up when you fall.

This made me think of God and how he feels about me. He doesn't want to let me fall. He kept me in innocence as a child. He protected me. But one day I grew up and had to start making my own choices. He has had to let me fall because he had to let me grow up and make my own choices. But he's taught me that falling doesn't equal failing. I've learned to just keep getting back up. If I keep getting back up, I have not failed. One thing I can understand about God and being a parent, is that, like God, I don't raise my kids to fail. They might fall and stumble sometimes, but I'm going to be right there to encourage them in getting right back up again. The choice is ultimately theirs however. I pray that I'm somehow managing to raise them to rely on God always. He doesn't call us to fail. He doesn't give up on us. I hope I can be an extension of him as a parent and show my kids the same love he's shown me.