Spiritual Suicide - His Porcelain Soldier
Feelin' tied to a beam on a bridge... watching em' stand on the edge.

Screaming into the wind...screamin' please don't jump.

Feelin' so helpless...and that somehow it's all my fault.

I've stood there before.

I've taken that jump.

The bottom hurts...

a thousand stones stabbing through your veins.

You scream but you're too far gone for them to hear you anymore.

It's a long fall from the top.

The wind may suffocate you first.

The pain doesn't go away down there.

It only hurts more.

A survivors guilt... list of what if's and coulda' shoulda's...

I can't... can't watch you jump...won't.. won't let you...

Down on my knees again tonight.

Not gunna watch you go down, not without a fight...

*Feeling a heavy heart tonight... keeping my church family in prayer... Lord bind us together...Somehow, all the petty things don't seem to matter anymore. Suddenly, I realize I care more about others than myself, and I don't know why I wasted so much time focusing on me and my petty concerns. All the petty things... people are dying, and I've been too busy watching petty... too concerned with me and not enough of others. I'm sorry.

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